MILLSTONE — Ramon Recalde admits he has taken some ribbing from friends as he is frequently referred to in the press as one of the few residents who regularly attends Board of Education meetings. Nonetheless, it is an accurate description of a man who is passionate about education.

When asked why he is such a faithful attendee, Recalde said the answer is twofold.

"First, because I care, period," he said. "Second, although I might have deep educational philosophical differences with some of the board members, I sincerely and truly respect and appreciate what they do."

Recalde noted that board members voluntarily allocate their time to invest in the rest of the community — time they could spend with their families or at work.

"The bare minimum I can do to repay their selfless effort is to give them a couple of hours every two weeks to listen, agree or argue with them, to positively contribute to the dialogue with a different perspective whenever I can," he said. "At the end of the game, their goals are my goals — the children of Millstone. Sounds corny, but it's the truth."

Born and raised in Ecuador, Recalde learned English in the late 1970s while living in Canada where his father served in a diplomatic capacity. He came to the United States to study economics at Adelphi University in Garden City, N.Y. That is where he met his wife, Colette, who is from South Africa and was obtaining her degree in early education.

After graduation, Recalde served as a diplomat for the government of Ecuador in New York for nearly seven years, first as trade representative, then as consul of Ecuador. The couple's first three children were born in Brooklyn, and the youngest was born two years ago in New Jersey.

The Recaldes moved to Millstone in the summer of 2001. For the past 12 years, Recalde has been the controller at a wholesaler in New York. His two oldest sons attend Christian Brothers Academy (CBA) in Lincroft, while his daughter will be going into sixth grade next year. Recalde was active in school issues while living in Park Slope in Brooklyn. There, the public school implemented an advisory group called School Leadership Team, equally conformed of parents, teachers and administrators. The main issue at hand was the adoption and implementation of "everyday math" into the curriculum.

"I took it upon myself to research the subject in depth — the pros and cons," he recalled.

In Millstone, he participated in the development of the school district's goals in 2001 and 2006. The district, every five years, revisits and plans out its goals with the input from volunteer members of the Millstone community. He also attended board meetings sporadically until two years ago when his oldest son registered to attend CBA.

"After he was accepted and we submitted payments and deposits, in the middle of summer, we were notified that no busing would be provided for nonpublic school students," Recalde said. "We organized, complained, got angry and frustrated, and at the end, did not receive busing services that year."

Recalde began attending meetings regularly since that incident.

"I put in my two cents in almost every discussion or subject they address," he said.

Recalde said he and his wife, who now teaches in Trenton, have always been committed to raising their children hands-on, never expecting or allowing the schools to raise their kids. "The schools should only be another tool in their development," he said. "There are children who lack the attention and parent involvement to secure a better education. I am not necessarily referring to the financial aspects of educating, but to the emotional support— the discipline and the love."

While he knows this generalization might sound harsh and judgmental, he said in many cases it is a fact.

"My intention is not to offend anyone, but my subjective life experiences prove to me that our society has evolved into the following: the hands-off approach of allowing ourselves to wrongly accept that the education of our children is mostly up to the schools," he said. "That being the case, I can only try to help until as a community we prioritize and rectify."

Although friends have asked him, he has no intention of running for a board seat.

"As long as the board members listen and respect our opinions, I have found a niche that needed to be filled," he said. "Plus, being on the other side of the room gives me the freedomto express my opinions freely, most of the time without the politically correct albatross around my neck."

He said the only problem is he feels pretty lonely at the board meetings.

"If anyone cares to join us, please do so," he said.

When asked what are the biggest misconceptions most residents have about the board, he said he has heard it all, from the good to the bad, all the way to the ridiculous and obscene.

"I cannot respect anyone who, without real facts, behind curtains and gossip, throws mud to see where it lands, turning district issues into personal attacks towards any of the board members or administrators," he said.

Recalde invited anyone who does not like what they see or hear in the school district to get informed and involved and to run for a board seat. He said he is often surprised to see how little people know compared to how much they have to say. As an example, he was the only resident to attend all budget meetings in preparation for voting on the budget in the April election. The proposed budget failed with voters at the polls, resulting in the school district cutting $1.1 million from the proposed 2009-10 spending plan.

"Many residents I run into, when discussing the budget, mix apples with oranges and begin, out of frustration, ranting against the district, the board, the Millstone Performing Arts Center, the teachers, the union, Upper Freehold, but never themselves," he said. "We have what we invest in, and we have to be willing to invest more to get better results."

Recalde said he would like to put one extreme belief that he has heard around town to rest.

"There is nobody leaving the district with bags of money," he said.

Recalde also talked about the ongoing issueswith the Upper Freehold Regional School District (UFRSD). Millstone pays tuition to send its high school-age students to Allentown High School in the UFRSD. Millstone students make up more than half of the student body at the high school. Millstone holds one voting seat on the Upper Freehold Regional Board of Education.

Recalde doesn't believe the issues with that school district would be resolved with more representation on that board.

"They should view our relationship as a partnership," he said. "Nobody is doing anybody any favors. It is a send-receive contract. A more fair and leveling contract is where our focus should be regarding Upper Freehold."

When asked about changes he would like to see in the Millstone district, Recalde replied that he doesn't think there can be talk of specific changes until the culture is changed regarding the hunger for knowledge.

"For the culture to change, more of us need to get involved and educate ourselves on how the current tangled bureaucratic system operates," he said. "In other words, we must earn the respect in order to make educated requests to make the desired changes, first locally then all the way to Trenton."

Recalde asked how parents can make academic demands of their children if those parents are prioritizing pay-to-play sports and extracurricular activity fees over the seven teachers and aides cut this year.

"The last board meeting was packed wall to wall by residents upset about the prospective $10 per hour facility usage fee for sports and clubs," he said. "Not one of them complained about the above- mentioned cuts in the staff. I get upset to see other towns around us scoring better in state and SAT tests."

He pointed out that the odds of any Millstone kid going on to play professional sports are slim to none.

"Hopefully, some will be awarded college scholarships, but let's be pragmatic and come down to earth," he said. "I am a true believer that in a healthy body there is a healthy mind, but with everything that is happening at the national level, are we implementing our children with the competitive tools for them to make it out there outside the sheltered microcosm of Millstone?"

According to Recalde, the answer can be found in better math and reading scores, and vast knowledge of geography and history.

"Our priority should be academics, academics and academics in that order," he said.

Recalde said the most critical problem the school district has is passing the budget, which has not happened for several years.

"Every other issue falls under the budget and can be solved or addressed through policy and management," he said.

Recalde said he cannot conceive that all people want in Millstone is a nice job, a nice home, OK schools and OK sports programs.

"My parents never got tired of pushing me to learn something new every day," he said. "They always said that in life, whatever you have eaten, drunk, read, learned and traveled, no one can take away from you. I often tell my kids to strive to become the best possible students, the best possible friends and the best possible citizens they could become. The rest in life is simply luck."